I cannot live through another moment like the shitshow that was my morning. We’ve been painting our kitchen, which is frustrating in itself (I literally cried myself to sleep Saturday night because I’d been taping and painting for 14 hours, without stopping to eat more than a doughnut, and I couldn’t see an end in… Continue reading Up is That Way!
My kids are straight up savages when it comes to cleaning up after themselves. I’m not saying they make a mess; I’m saying they are like gummy, human bombs made out of dirt/markers/unidentified liquid substances, and they leave a trail of literal garbage in their wake. They could be hovering directly over the trashcan… Continue reading I Stopped Cleaning Up After My Kids and It Is Killing Me!
The best and easiest way I know to snap my kids out of a bad mood is to make their stuffed animals (or any body part or inanimate object) talk to them. It doesn’t work every single time, but I’ve turned temper tantrums around on a dime with just my fingers, a bad accent, and a… Continue reading Hot Parenting Tip: How to Manipulate Your Kids Using Their Own Toys
*Thank you for the blog idea, Teresa! Chase and I have been letting the kids watch New Girl lately, which I don’t really feel bad about because my mom let me watch all sorts of shit when I was little and I turned out mostly fine. My favourite movies when I was my daughters’ age… Continue reading I’ll Tell You When You’re Married
Oh gawd, guys, I’m a whiner. Like, a big, fat, negative complainer. You could give me a million dollars, free and clear, no strings attached, and I’d complain about having to find ways to spend it. You could tell me I’ll have perfect health for the rest of my life, and I’d complain that my… Continue reading Why Waking up at 5AM is Awesome
I am writing this post with an Ikea pencil on an old, yellowed Halmark bag I found in Chase’s glovebox. Sprout and I are hanging out in the car after a particularly embarrassing dinner at a Chinese restaurant, while the rest of our friends and family finish their meals inside. I knew taking the kids… Continue reading My Mad Buffet Dash and Subsequent Humiliation
Is it just me or is it actually, literally impossible to get kids out the door on time? Our mornings are always a shit show around here when I’m trying to herd my 4 and 2 year olds off to school, and get myself off to work. Our routine starts off calmly, but by 7am… Continue reading Herding Cats