Thing I Feel Guilty About #68941

That’s not snow. It’s guilt.

So, a year ago? Two years ago? My elderly neighbour essentially gave Chase her snowblower. I say “essentially” because it’s not technically his –  he’s just keeping it for her, in his garage, to use as he sees fit, as  long as (and this is key) he agrees to blow out her driveway when it snows. I mean, it SOUNDS like a good deal, but as soon as I found out about it, I felt IMMEDIATELY guilty. I know she is the kind of woman who expects you to honour your word to a T (as she should), but Chase works weird hours and there are times when he’s all alone at home with our 4 and 7 year old daughters; he doesn’t have the time nor the freedom to be there immediately when it snows. I’m not saying he doesn’t plough her out (heh heh – plough her out), but I am saying that maybe it doesn’t happen as expediently as my neighbour expects all the time.

Keep in mind that this deal between Chase and my neighbour has absolutely NOTHING to do with me. I wasn’t there when the bargain was struck. I barely know how to use a shovel, let alone how to operate a snow blower. Maybe she is more understanding than I give her credit for, and I’m projecting my own draconian expectations on this arrangement, I don’t know. I DO know that I can barely look this lady in the eye now* and I am currently thinking about getting up at 4am to shovel her driveway myself in the future.

* Also, she invited me to her Church in a roundabout “you should bring your kids to Sunday School” kind of way and, even though I made no promise to attend, I feel bad about not going, which adds to the whole no eye contact thing.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?! Why do I feel guilty about this?! It isn’t my problem. And yet, here I am, with a sick knot in my stomach because my other elderly neighbour is snow blowing her driveway as we speak.



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