My co-worker is talking about selling all of her worldly possessions and travelling around North American in a camper, and I’m over here like “WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!”
What AM I doing with my life? I think it’s pretty obvious I’ve been in a bad place for awhile, but, I mean, I’m a fairly productive adult. I show up to work every day at a job I mostly enjoy. I have two beautiful, healthy children and a husband type guy who is loving and encouraging. I couldn’t ask for better friends and family… And let’s not forget the fact that I’m a white, middle class woman in a first world country where I have the luxury of being sad just because I’m bored.
BUT. But my life, while admittedly pretty effin’ awesome, is at a standstill. I don’t grow or meet any of my goals. I don’t really DO anything, to be honest. I work to eat and clothe my children, and when I’m done doing all of my admin and mommy jobs, I’m too tired to do much else. I have absolutely nothing to show for the 40 plus hours a week I log in at the office (unless you count a fat ass, in which case, boy, do I have something to show for it!). I don’t own a house, and the one I rent is not decorated (who has money for home decor?) and it’s a little run down. My car belongs to the bank. I’m literally afraid to open my chequing account right now because I dread to see how little money I have in there (I’ve been avoiding paying my bills for a week because I can’t bring myself to look).
How’s that for a pity party, guys? Are you enjoying wallowing in my miserable mediocrity as much as I am? No? You’ve heard me say all this before and you’re bored with it? Siiiigh. Me, too.
Okay. Truth be told, I’m not really sure how to get out of this hole I’ve dug for myself BUT I WANT TO SO BAD (even though it is pretty comfortable down here). I just googled bucket lists, thinking it may give me some ideas to spice up my life, and reading through other people’s goals and aspirations was not helpful at all (except now I kind of want to go to Mexico for the Day of the Dead).
Here’s my immediate “to do” list to get me started until I can think of some more exciting goals:
- Get my driver’s licence – test booked for the end of the month!
- Sign up for French (FSL) classes – classes begin in October
- Stockpile money into an “adventure” fund