I was packing Butterbean’s lunch kit the other day, about 5 minutes after we had to be out the door for school (as usual), when she basically demanded I include a note with her food. She says the other kids get love notes from their parents in their lunches, and [insert whiny voice here] why doesn’t she get them? I think a better question is, “WHO THE HELL ARE THESE PARENTS WHO HAVE TIME TO WRITE THEIR CHILDREN LOVE LETTERS EVERY DAY?!” Don’t they know what kind of pressure that creates for other parents (read: me), who already dread making lunches without the extra step of writing a note (an acrostic? an essay?) at 6:30 in the morning?!
I tell my kids that I love them so often, they roll their eyes when I say it; I didn’t realize I had to put it in writing.
A typical conversation in my house:
Me: Hey! Guess what?
Kid: I already know what you’re going to say!
Me: No you don’t! What was I going to say?
Kid: [heavy sigh] You love me.
Me: That’s not what I was going to say!
Me: I love you.
Anyway, now, of course, I am including notes in the Bean’s lunch. But if I’m already going to that trouble, I’m going to make it a) fun for me, and b) easy. I’m not creative enough to think of new ways to say “I love you” every day, or to wax poetic about the brightness of my child’s smile in iambic pentameter, so, I looked up children’s jokes online, and wrote a bunch of them out after the kids went to bed. I put a stack of jokes next to the granola bars, and now every day (ermm.. at least, for the next 8 school days), I can include a note in Butterbean’s lunch. Not only am I giving the illusion that I am a perfect mom (take that, parents who made lunch notes a thing! I’m one of you! One of yoooou!!), I am making the Bean feel valued, strengthening her reading skills, nurturing her sense of humour, AND entertaining an entire classroom of children with zingers like “How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it”. GENIUS!